On the Eve of Your Birthday. . .

This post is directed toward my sister, Naomi. But y'alls welcome to read it if you like.

Hi, Naomi. This is normally the post where I would post up stupid YouTube videos of idiots doing birthday raps. But today, I have a confession to make. It's a confession of a secret kept by the entire family, and they won't be happy that I told you, but goddamn it, I love you too much keep this from you any longer.

Here it goes. For the past twenty years you've been told that you were born on the late evening of February 28th, 1988. This is a lie; you were actually born a few minutes after midnight, February 29th. With the help of our doctor, who aided in falsifying your birth certificate, we faked your birthday to prevent you from having to face the stigma of being. . . a Leap Year Baby.

All your life, we've tried to convince you that you were bon on the twenty-eigth of February, going so far as to hold fake birthday parties and give fake birthday presents. Mom, Dad, the doctor, and me were the only ones to know about this. . . until now.

Naomi, you would be twenty today. On the eve of your birthday, February 29th, I think it is time for you to know. . .

YOU'RE FIVE!!!