Friday, March 19, 2010

Coming Soon. . .to Sailor Moon: The Movie!

Like I said earlier, I've been working on a large part of the Sailor Moon script these past couple of weeks. In addition to my usual marking load, I've been delayed by work I'm putting into a skit for Japanese class. I'd like to say that the next part will be up after this weekend, and I will be putting in some effort then, but I can't really make any promises.

But I can give a sneak peak. A sneak peek that's only slightly accurate, heavily sarcastic, woefully insifficient, and probably a waste of your time, but one which nonetheless contains some very small indication of what's to come, though in ways which will only make sense once you've read the script.

So. . .Enjoy?


*************************************************************************************

SEMPAI

Oh yeah, there were like, two, thr-- FIVE of them. American GI's-- I mean, Marines. Yeah, that's it. Marines. Huge black guys with gang tattoos.

GIRL

Not gang tattoos! Those are the meanest tattoos of all! Meaner than pirate tattoos!

SEMPAI

So I'm like 'we gonna settle this Yankee?' and that's when one of 'em, the biggest one in the group, sucker punches me right in the eye like a pussy, and that's how I got this baby right here (points to black eye). But I didn't even flinch. Just stood there all lookin' like 'that all you got? Shoulda brought an Abrahms, bitches'.

GIRL

Gosh. I wonder if EVERYTHING is as big as this black eye? Oh golly! I just made my first innuendo! I could simply faint from all this excitement!

************************************************************************************

PUNK

Why do you not like my cousin?

UMINO

What? I don't know your--

PUNK produces a handful of fried shrimp.

PUNK

Does THIS remind you of anything?

UMINO

That's. . . That's my lunch!

PUNK

To you, it's lunch. To my cousin, who's ALLERGIC to mollusks, crustaceans and echinoderms, THIS is crunchy, greasy DEATH!

UMINO

I swear, I didn't--

PUNK

No, you DIDN'T know. You didn't CARE. YOU were too SHELLFISH-- ahem, pardon me-- SELFISH to care.

*************************************************************************************

USAGI

You see, there was this dead cat!

TEACHER

Dead cat you say?

USAGI

Yeah!

HORATIO CANE

Looks like her nine lives. . .

(puts on sunglasses)

. . . just ran out.

THE WHO

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*************************************************************************************

RITSUKO AKAGI

Her aim is quite good.

MISAGO KATSURAGI

Yes. She always obeys her orders, never questions, never objects. I suspect that's how she gets by in life.

REI HINO

Aim. Point. Shoot. Aim. Point. Shoot.

BACKGROUND MUSIC

Fry me to the moon. And ret me pray among da staaaahs. . . .
*************************************************************************************

Yup. I bet I totally whetted your appetite with all that.

4 comments:

Naomi said...

Also, I think something went a bit weird with some of the embedded youtube videos. It covered some of the text, and two of the videos were over top one another so I couldn't watch them. Just a heads up, you don't need to publish this comment, just letting you know.

Jeremy K. said...

I'll publish it anyway. You might not be the only one having this problem.

Naomi said...

I thought I left two comments!

Jeremy K. said...

No, doesn't look like it. I double-checked both my comment moderation list and my hotmail-- you only left one comment for this post.

 
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