Friday, October 2, 2009

My Calling Has at Last Found Me.

What did I think life was?

What was that I, in my naiveté, once called my dreams?

Physics? Teaching in Japan? Mastery of Tae Kwon Do? Writing the Sailor Moon live action movie starring Abigail Breslin in the lead role?

What a fool I was. Fortunately, a good, wise soul has shown me the way.

From this day fourth, I shall not rest or waver until I, Jeremy K., have become. . . THE BURGER KING TM!

So. . . yeah. I went to Burger King for lunch, and as I'm entering the restaurant, I hear slovenly cries from behind about someone, who I later realized was me, being "pretty keen!"

Entering the line to order, I am approached by the fellow I heard earlier. Clearly drunk out of his gord, he tells me "Aw man, it's the Burger King!"

I realized ignoring him might be a bad idea, so I turned briefly to him and said "Yup."

"Naw, naw, really, I'm-- I'm serious, your the Burger King."


"Naw, man, I like saw you from behind, and-- I was like. . . 'man, it's the Burger King!'"

"Uh huh."

"No, man, you should. . . you should. . . really, like, consider it, man. You like. . "

The man slapped his hands together back to palm.

"Like, fifty grand, man. Fifty grand or that job. I'm serious! You should--"

"Yes, ma'am, I'm ready to order!"

The man then allegedly slapped another customer (I'm not really sure about this, as I tried my damnedest to avoid eye contact with him), which prompted the manager to ask him to leave, upon threat of RCMP intervention.

This was the latest, and greatest, in a long line of misadventures at Prince George's shitty, shitty. . . shitty Burger King. But, it's our city's only source of Whoppers, so what are you gonna do? Besides go to Fatburger, that is?
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