Friday, March 2, 2012

Would "Hot to Trotsky" be a good slogan for faceless Marxist-Leninism? How 'bout "Quit Stalin' and Get with the Five Year Program"?

One of the first things I ever remember actually having to learn was tying my shoelaces. Maybe it was because this was one of the very first complex motor skills I ever had learn, and so required more deliberate, active cognitive internalization than anything I had ever learned before up to that point. Or maybe it's because I learned it from my Dad, who subscribes to the philosophy that if someone doesn't understand what he's trying to teach them, it's because he's not yelling loudly enough*. In any event, the memory of learning how to tie my shoes (as opposed to the knowledge in and of itself) still resonates with me a good twenty-four years after the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck I'm getting old!

 . . . anyway. Understandably, shoelace tying remains a bit of a touchy subject for me. Which is why this really grabbed my attention:   

Thoughts that ran through my head as I read this:

1) Nerds make everything awesome. I am of course referring to real Nerds and not whatever those things on The Big Bang Theory are. Because fuck The Big Bang Theory.

2) Where the hell was this when I was learning how to tie my shoes? Seriously!

3) Wait, am I-- yup! I'm doing it right! Thanks Dad! No Granny shoes for me!

Next time, I'll find some random post about clocks or something and it'll remind me about learning how to tell time, or I'll play some Flash remake of "Number Crunchers" and remember torturous math drills in my kitchen. My childhood: It's Fannnntastic.

* Slavs: Brought to you by Soviet Repression™, and by Old World Social Values™, makers of "Women and Children are Property".

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