DC Comics to Publish Sailor Moon Reboot. . . With Some Interesting Ideas

UPDATE: The links to the DC Comics website appear to be broken. I'm trying to find another link as we speak.

I really don't know what to make of what I've just read.

DC Comics has announced that they've bought the rights to Sailor Moon, and that they'll be launching a new reboot series through their Vertigo Comics line. The new comic, for now simply titled "Sailor Moon," has a planned launch date in September 2010. The comic will be written by John Geoffries and illustrated by Jack Lopez and Phil Ivans.

Now, I'm not a comics fan, so those names mean nothing to me, but apparently, from some of the comics websites I've glanced through since learning about this, their previous work has not been well regarded-- they were the same team that created what's considered to be one of the most despised titles in recent memory, the (so I've heard) disastrous limited series DC superhero team-up debacle "Final Countdown".

So, as you can imagine, I was not thrilled to learn that these guys are going to be involved with the Sailor Moon reboot. Hell, I wasn't all that pleased with the idea of an American comics reboot to begin with-- this other news is just salt on the wound. I quickly realized that the situation is worse than that.

Far worse.

John Geoffries recently gave an interview, available on the DC Comics website, outlining the approach he plans to take with the franchise reboot. You can read through the whole thing if you really want to-- these are just the highlights.

Geoffries starts by assuring fans that the source material is safe in his capable hands:

Look, let's face it. Sailor Moon. . . yeah, it has a following. Yeah, it. . . it's. . . a lot of kids got into anime and manga because of Sailor Moon. It's got a huge following. But, it's. . . you know, at the same time, it ain't exactly Watchmen, either. I mean, this was basically a dumb, you know, bimbo, who couldn't walk from here to there with tripping over herself and who, uh, always needed her friends to get her out of trouble. Like, every time. Every time there was a monster. . . and there was always a monster, they were up to their elbows in monsters in Tokyo judging, you know, by how they always happened to run into them. . . every time she was called on to fight, she would cry, or run away, or get her ass kicked and her friends and Tuxedo Mask would have to swoop in and save her. Now, uh. . . I, uh, I don't think kids will buy that anymore.

Looks like the guy didn't even bother to read Takeuchi's original manga, where, if anything, it was Sailor Moon who always had to save the other senshi. And yes, in the manga, she did trip all over herself. . . in the beginning, after which she became more capable and comfortable in her role.

But that's not the really horrible part. Oh no. This is where it really gets bad.

If you look at the manga, and the anime. . . Look, I'll just say it. They're white. All of them. White girls in Japan, with Japanese names and everything. There's this term, uh, this Japanese term that they use to refer to this, where they blame it, or I guess, explain it in terms of deliberate, uh, ambiguity when it comes to race. But that's bulls***, total bull. They're white. And that seems to be pretty common in a lot of anime and manga.

(snip)

So, what happens, then, when you got a white hero, living in Japan, where, you know, there are signs that say no non-Japanese allowed on a lot of the restaurant doors. It, uh, it recontextualizes things a bit doesn't it?

"Recontextualizes things a bit, doesn't it?"

Gee, I seem to remember READING THAT SOMEWHERE!

Oh, and rest assured, it is not a coincidence.

Once we started with that idea, all these other ideas fell into place. We can't divulge too much, but we're definitely gonna take a more, er, more realistic track.

(snip)

Here you have Ami, whose got 300 IQ but is still dicking around in junior high. We're gonna take a different approach with her.

(snip)

We also have Rei, who was, you know, the traditionalist. How do think she's gonna react to a white Sailor Moon basically, sort of, giving her all the orders?

(snip)

We're gonna take a more, you know, Memento approach to Tuxedo Mask as well. Show the consequences of his brain injury more, uh, more, uh, detailed than the manga did.

(snip)

The Negaverse, or Dark Kingdom I guess, or whatever, is definitely played out. We'll be going our way as far as the villain goes.

Motherfuckers.

Motherfuckers stole my ideas. Not only that, they made them look completely idiotic!

I am so incredibly angry and saddened right now. I'm so angry that I could almost. . . check the date.