I wanted to get this posted on New Years Day, but. . . you know, stuff.
Anyway, this is the next portion of the Sailor Moon first draft script. I've been working on this, on and off, since I went to Japan. What I'm posting today is only about half of what's ready; the rest is written in my notes, and only needs to be typed up and polished a bit. Expect the next part within the next few days.
It's been almost a full year since I started this ridiculous project. It's been very rewarding, not least in showing me just how much I DON'T know about writing a proper screenplay. Even now, I'm only just realizing how much work will be needed just to fix up what I've already written. I've already decided that a major overhaul of the first act is needed. In addition, the material that has been posted here-- and indeed, the material that I'll be posting today and in the coming days-- will need to be seriously streamlined. For example, the portion of the script that I'm posting today (which, remember, is only a fraction of what I have ready) represents about seventy-one pages of 12 point Times New Roman text-- single spaced. In a way, this is a good thing: it's better to have too much material and ideas than to have too little. On the other hand, it's a lot to have read through, and a lot of it won't make the cut, which only makes it more tedious.
I'm actually torn on whether it was a good idea to start posting this early version of the script. Even leaving aside the possibility of plagiarism (which is pretty remote-- I'd be flattering myself if I thought otherwise) as well as the stigma associated with "self-publishing," I sometimes feel that in posting these very rough, very imperfect early drafts and ideas, I'm revealing a bit too much to the reader. My original hope in doing this was that I would get some constructive-- even harsh-- criticism, and that this would help make for both a better product and a hardened writing ego. (I DID get a little bit of that kind of criticism from a couple of commenters some time ago, and I'm grateful for it.) But in any event, I've committed to this, I'm glad to be doing it, and I will finish it. . . even it takes another whole year and maybe even another trip to Japan.
So here it is.
Note: like last time, I'll be dividing the script into chunks for easier reading. I've also decided to stop bolding the slug notes-- it's tedious, and it's not even done in real screenplays, so why bother.
Enjoy!
If I Wrote the Sailor Moon Movie #21: Sailor Moon Screenplay Draft Part #6
The PROFESSOR continues on. KAO LING follows after him. We hold on the computer, surrounded by darkness. We hear the doors wind shut. Once the noise dies down a few seconds later, the lights around the computer go off, leaving the room in total silence and total darkness.
Then, the sound of an ALARM CLOCK.
CUT TO:
INT, Mizuno Residence, AMI'S Bedroom
We continue to hear the alarm clock. From underneath her covers, AMI stumbles out of bed, turning the alarm clock off. She sits on her bed for a moment, rubbing her eyes, before turning her gaze toward a NOTEBOOK laying on a nearby desk. We CUT TO:
A top-down close-up of the NOTEBOOK, which initially lays closed on the desk. After a moment, from offscreen, AMI'S hands open to the first page, then the second, third, and so on, slowly enough for us to see that the notes written within contain a summary of the documents she saw the night before-- sketched out maps, numbers, facts, etc..
CUT TO:
INT, Underground Lab
A top-down view of TELLU, lying on a sun chair in a two-piece bikini and sunglasses, bathed in bright light. We CUT TO:
A long shot to TELLU. At first, we see only TELLU in a small island of light. Then, more lights come on, revealing a vast chamber filled with strange looking plants. We CUT TO:
A top-down close-up of TELLU, smiling.
CUT TO:
INT, Kino Residence, Kitchen
Yet another top-down view, this time of a kitchen counter top. We see a pair of hands preparing lunch. We then pan up to reveal that the hands belong to MAKOTO.
CUT TO:
Front door of the apartment. Just before heading out, MAKOTO pulls out her cell phone and checks for messages. Her face sinks.
CUT TO:
Close-up of the cell phone. We see that SEMPAI has left a message.
CUT TO:
INT, Underground Lab
A close up of EUDIAL. From her expression, we can tell she's not happy at all.
KAO LING(O.S.)
The school serves its own purpose, separate from us. We do not use cattle for our personal chores.
CUT TO: Two shot of EUDIAL and KAO LING.
KAO LING
There is a reason why we do things our way. We keep things small, we keep things simple.
In the background, TELLU, still in he bikini, walks into view, eavesdropping on the conversation.
KAO LING
We keep it in the family. Do you understand?
EUDIAL
Yes.
TELLU smiles contemptuously.
KAO LING
I'll be pairing you with Tellu today. She's been taking care of--
CUT TO:
A close-up of REI. Off screen, we hear the RECTOR of T+A academy conducting early morning mass. REI couldn't be any less interested in the mass. From her expression, we can tell that her mind is focused on the events of the last day.
RECTOR(V.O.)
Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.
CUT TO:
A few moments later. The students file out of their pews and into procession for the communion, as a hymn is sung in the background. REI politely steps aside, allowing other students to get in line without joining in the communion itself. REI looks into her hands. CUT TO:
A close-up of REI'S hands. We see that she's holding the rosary beads she found the day before. We hear another alarm clock begin to ring as we CUT TO:
INT, USAGI'S Bedroom
A close-up of the chair LUNA was sleeping on-- it's empty. We pan to USAGI, who struggles toward wakefulness and turns off the alarm, only to realize that LUNA is gone. She stares at the chair for a moment as we CUT TO:
EXT, Mundy Front Lawn, DAY
USAGI walks out to the sidewalk, clearly a little saddened at LUNA'S disappearance. As she comes, she sees SAMMY kneeling in front of some bushes, holding a cold cut in his hand.
SAMMY
Apollo? Come here Apollo.
USAGI, curious, walks up to SAMMY.
USAGI
Apollo?
SAMMY
(looking up at USAGI)
The cat.
USAGI
You saw her?
SAMMY
(turning back to the bush)
I thought I did.
(beat)
I knew you'd end up losing her. Here Apollo!
USAGI
I thought you wanted to name her Armstrong.
SAMMY
Nah. Armstrong was a stupid name. What's worse is that the PERFECT name was staring me right in the face all along: "Apollo!"
USAGI
Apollo's not a girl's name
SAMMY
(turns back around)
Says who?
USAGI
Well, Apollo, for one.
SAMMY
Yeah, like you would know. Besides, it better than "Loo-nuh".
At that moment, almost as if to taunt SAMMY, LUNA emerges from the bushes, meowing. SAMMY turns to her, and USAGI smiles, relieved.
SAMMY
. . . Luna?
LUNA meows again. USAGI kneels next to SAMMY.
SAMMY
(to LUNA)
You're going with Luna? Really?
USAGI
The naming of cats is a difficult matter.
(pets LUNA)
It isn't just one of your holiday games.
SAMMY, indignantly, sets the meat on the ground in front of LUNA and stands up.
SAMMY
Whatever. "Luna".
SAMMY walks off. Once he's gone, USAGI moves in closer.
USAGI
(whispering)
Just to make sure. . . you CAN still talk, right? I'm not crazy?
LUNA swallows a piece of meat.
LUNA
"Holiday games?"
USAGI sighs, relieved yet again.
USAGI
It's a poem my dad read me.
(stands up)
Anyway, I have to get to school!
LUNA
You're not going to school.
USAGI
What?
LUNA
I called the school and told them you're not coming in today.
LUNA starts walking down the sidewalk. USAGI gets up and follows.
USAGI
Wait. . . YOU called--?
LUNA
I just barely managed to mimic your mother's accent, so I had to tell them I was sick too.
USAGI
Wait wait wait-- sick? That means I need--
LUNA
A doctor's note. I know, I know. We'll cross that bridge when it comes.
USAGI
But--!
LUNA
By the way, I had to improvise somewhat, so if Sakurada-sensei asks about the delirium, tell her your memories are jumbled and unreliable.
USAGI
Delir--?
LUNA
Oh, and if your mom still hasn't found the phone when we get home, it's under the brown ottoman.
USAGI
Luna--
LUNA
I just hope they don't notice the toothmarks.
USAGI
Luna!
The two come to stop.
LUNA
What?
USAGI
Luna, I WANTED to go to school today!
LUNA
Usagi, I don't plan on making a habit of this.
(beat)
In fact, I think you need to put more effort into your studies--
USAGI
(sighs)
It's not THAT.
USAGI, frustrated, walks off. LUNA follows. CUT TO:
EXT, Front Gate of MARIE BAISHAKU'S house, DAY
A static shot of MARIE'S front gate. In the background, we hear a telephone conversation between MARIE and a corporate SUIT.
SUIT(V.O.)
We've already gone over the schedule, but I thought we'd just briefly review--
MARIE(V.O.)
I've been through these sorts of things before.
We see a black SUV, complete with tinted windows, pull up in front of the house.
SUIT(V.O.)
Well, that's true, but you've never really taken these things very well. And besides, things have changed.
CUT TO:
A close up of a security keypad.
SUIT(V.O.)
Security has become much more of a focus since you were making appearances.
A hand enters the frame and punches in a security code. The front gate opens immediately afterward.
SUIT(V.O.)
These things are so much vaster in scope now.
CUT TO:
INT, MARIE'S house, Hallway
A security camera feed, displaying the hallway. There's no sign of the violence that took place there at MIMET'S hands earlier. The conversation continues, but now the voice on "Marie's" end is that of someone else, named CYPRINE.
SUIT(V.O.)
The industry is not what it used to be, Marie.
CYRPINE(O.S.)
Hopefully, it hasn't changed TOO much.
We see two women, dressed in black, making their way down the hall. One of them is carrying a metallic suitcase with a BLACK STAR painted onto it.
CYRPINE(O.S.)
Listen, I'll be fine. I've been over the procedure: report to Takamaru-san and he'll direct me through the rest. Just make sure the art is ready.
CUT TO:
INT, SUIT'S office. SUIT stands to one side of the frame. In the background, we see various pieces of promotional artwork--posters, life-sized character cutouts-- for a new manga called "Sailor V XX", obviously featuring Sailor V.
SUIT
Oh. . .
(Turns back to admire the art)
It'll be ready.
(Turns back to face camera)
Marie. . . I know these things haven't gone well for you in the past and, well, we're glad your spirits are so high.
CUT TO:
INT, MARIE'S House, Living Room.
MARIE and BAISHAKU-SAN sit side-by-side on a love seat, holding hands, staring out blankly and serenely. The room is adorned with various, slightly strange looking potted plants. The MARIE we see is absolutely silent as the conversation continues.
MARIE(V.O.)
Don't get me wrong. I can't wait until this is all over.
We hear the sound of the two women in black approaching from outside.
MARIE(V.O.)
It looks like my ride's here. I'll see you a Big Sight.
The phone call cuts off. CUT TO:
INT, SUIT'S Office
SUIT closes his phone, giving a bemused look before putting the phone away. Another SUIT appears.
SUIT #2
Remind me again why we've put up with her crap these past three months?
SUIT
Because we're broke. And Sailor V is our only way out.
SUIT #2
(beat, the sighs)
Don't remind me.
CUT TO:
INT, MARIE'S House
The two women in black, who we now realize are EUDIAL and TELLU, are just outside the door to the living room, where MARIE and BAISHAKU-SAN are sitting. EUDIAL kneels down, opening the suitcase.
EUDIAL
I don't know how you can be so calm.
TELLU
Really? You didn't see all my plants as we were--?
EUDIAL
Yes, I saw all your custom-made plants, and I know what they're SUPPOSED to do. I WAS at the meeting.
EUDIAL pulls out a handheld computer pad.
TELLU
Then you KNOW that their pheromones--
EUDIAL then pulls a HARNESS out from the suitcase. EUDIAL presses a button, and the HARNESS immediately extends-- it's basically a long, rigid handle with a strange looking collar at the end. TELLU is briefly interrupted by the extending HARNESS.
TELLU
. . . were designed specifically to keep "it" nice and calm.
TELLU takes the HARNESS.
TELLU
I'm more worried about this thing.
(gestures to the HARNESS)
It's not even tested.
EUDIAL stands up.
EUDIAL
It IS tested, as of two bloody weeks ago. I don't care what Kao Ling says. It's ready.
TELLU
Like your tracking device?
Pause.
EUDIAL
Yes. . . like my tracking device.
A tense pause, as EUDIAL glares at TELLU suspiciously.
TELLU
You know--
EUDIAL
(sharply)
What?
TELLU
--with that other Daimon still on the lose--
EUDIAL
What about it?
TELLU
Well. . . the pheromones released in this house are specially designed as a sedative for "you-know-who."
(points her head toward the door)
But it's possible that the pheromones could have different effects on different Daimon. It might promote aggression, or euphoria, or even--
(shudders)
--sexual response, depending on the host. . .
(snaps fingers)
You know, it might even attract other Daimon! Daimon from miles and miles away.
(beat)
Honestly, I'm suprised you didn't think of that!
EUDIAL walks up to TELLU, fuming.
EUDIAL
And I supposed this bit of information just slipped your mind.
TELLU
Oh, not at all.
(beat)
It was your assignment. I didn't want to presume on your authority. That's all.
CUT TO:
INT, Underground Lab, Control Room.
In the background, we see a control center, with TV screens showing the security feeds from MARIE'S house. In the foreground, hidden in shadows, we see KAO LING, holding a cell phone. She's waiting for someone on the other end to pick up.
CUT TO:
The PROFESSOR'S lab. We see this phone-- and old touch-tone land line-- ring a few times. Nobody's answering.
CUT TO:
Control Room. KAO LING
KAO LING hangs up, and sighs.
KAO LING
(to herself)
What the hell are we doing?
KAO LING walks out of the shadows toward the control center. At first, she walks awkwardly, as if her joints are in pain. By the time she nears the control panel, she's walking normally, or at least normally enough to conceal her pain. At the controls sit two women. Nearest to Kao Ling is CYPRINE, who does most certainly look familiar:
She looks up from the panel, sees KAO LING, and smiles. The woman sitting at the opposite side of the control panel (facing away from KAO LING) raises her hand and waves. Her name is PTILOL.
PTILOL
Hi, Kao Ling.
PTILOL swivels around to face KAO LING, revealing that she's identical in appearance to CYRPINE.
PTILOL
Eudial and Tellu have just arrived at Baishaku's house.
CYRPINE
The Daimon is being prepared for transit.
CUT TO:
INT, Baishaku House, Living Room
A shot of the living room door slowly opening.
TELLU(O.S.)
Marie-sensei?
TELLU slowly enters the room, HARNESS in hand.
TELLU
Marie-sensei? It's time to go.
CUT TO:
MARIE and BAISHAKU-SAN on the couch. MARIES turns to the door and smiles.
MARIE
(serenely)
Hello.
MARIE lets go of BAISHAKU-SAN'S hand. BAISHAKU-SAN'S head slumps back, his body becoming limp. MARIE slowly stands up.
MARIE
Why don't you come in?
MARIE walks slowly to the door.
MARIE
I know you're nervous, but it's okay. I always have time for my--
TELLU quickly shoves the HARNESS into MARIE'S neck, the collar snapping around her neck instantly. MARIE and TELLU briefly struggle against each other, MARIE trying reach TELLU, and TELLU fighting her off. From the creaking of the floorboards beneath them, we can tell that this is a struggle between two very strong opponents. TELLU presses a button, firing something into MARIE'S neck from the collar. After a second or two, MARIE'S demeanor becomes neutral, and she stops struggling. TELLU, still a little shaken, easily forces MARIE back into the couch.
EUDIAL(O.S.)
Let her go!
TELLU hesitates a moment before releasing the collar and pulling back. MARIE just sits there.
EUDIAL(O.S.)
Marie?
(beat)
Stand up.
MARIE slowly, and somewhat awkwardly, stands.
EUDIAL(O.S.)
See? Just like two weeks ago.
CUT TO:
EXT, MARIE'S House, DAY
MARIE gets into one of the back seats of the SUV. TELLU closes the door behind her and hops into the driver's seat. We follow the SUV as it pulls out. As we follow it, in the far distance, the Yokohama Landmark Tower and other Yokohama waterfront sights come into view.
LUNA(V.O.)
I don't think she ever came back to Tokyo.
Click here to continue.
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