He says the sun came out last night. He says it sang to him.

In a world where disco never died. . .
One man. . . will put the hose on Disco Inferno.
James Franco stars in . . . Dyskopia.

Yeah. . . I've been waiting for any excuse to use that pun. Anyway, here's Disco Close Encounters. Wait 'till the very end!



Why people ever believed that you can dance to John Williams, I will never know.

UPDATE: And who's the evil ruler of Dyskopia? John Travolta, of course! "When you were learning how to spell your name, I was being trained. . . TO CONQUER GALAXIES!"

Well. . . I'm Kinda Screwed.

I writing from a hotel room in Vancouver. My mom came down here to take part in some fancy lawyer course, and I came with her in order to submit to the Japanese consulate my application for a working holiday visa. The good news is that everything appears to be in order as far as the application is concerned-- after submitting all the necessary forms (application form, tentative itinerary, CV, letter of motive, and passport), I was told that my visa would be ready in week, barring any problems found later on, in which event I would be contacted.

As for the bad news. . . the consulate employee to whom I was submitting my forms asked me if I had any work lined up. I answered no, adding that I was planning to find work through the Japanese Association of Working Holiday Makers (J.A.W.H.M.), the only organization licensed by the Japanese government to assist those taking part in working holidays. That's when he dropped the bombshell: the J.A.W.H.M. will be shutting down as of June 19th. I had not heard of this because the news was announced only a day before I left for Vancouver.

The J.A.W.H.M. provided a lot of helpful services for working holiday takers: job postings, help with finding accommodations, Japanese lessons, etc.. Without J.A.W.H.M., I, and a lot of other people who plan on taking working holidays , will have that much harder a time getting by in Japan.

At the same, though, it's not like I don't have a plan. I figure that since I am both a native English speaker AND possess high level scientific education, I can serve as a tutor for a niche market: foreign Anglophone students who need help in physics, math, and maybe even chemistry as well. Plus, there's always demand for English teachers, even if TESOL certification (which I don't have) is preferred.

I guess I'm starting to get cold feet. Shit's getting real now.

Stay tuned.

No, I'm Asking.

Which of the following statements do you agree with the most:

A) Ferris Bueller's Day Off is, in the words of the immortal Richard Roeper, "a story about a young man trying to help his friend gain some measure of self-worth. . . to show [him] that the whole world in front of him is passing him by, and that life can be pretty sweet if you wake up and embrace it."

B) Ferris Bueller's Day Off is the story of a privileged narcissistic sociopath who will lie and manipulate just to have a good time. Its story is a complete moral inversion, with Ferris as the "good guy," and dedicated, if exasperated, civil servant principal Rooney as the de jure "bad guy." It's status as a perceived classic of 80's teen comedy only goes to show how cunning a deceiver Ferris really is.

C) Ferris Bueller is not a sociopath because, fundamentally, he is not a character at all-- he is an idea, a cipher onto which the film's teenage audience can graft their own selves. His world is not our world, but the world as we see it as adolescents, one of arbitrary rules imposed on those seeking only to enjoy life to its fullest. To hold Ferris Bueller up to the moral standards of our real world is absurd, and misses the point altogether.

D) It was all in Cameron's head.

E) Bueller?

LOL . .

. . . that's all I can say.

Commemorative poppy quarter sparks distrust of Canada in the U.S.

Gordon Ramsay Can Cook a Mean Lobster Spaghetti. . .

. . . but can he cook LIFE ITSELF?

Via Pharyngula, famous chef Julia Child cooks up a primordial soup.



Mmm mmm good.

A Bonus:

Iliad 9/11

While attending the University of Victoria, I used to send out satirical essays -- well, essays may be too grand a word-- to my friends and family via e-mail (this was from 2003 to 2005, the days before blogging became widespread). While searching through my old e-mails, I came across one of those essays, entitled "Iliad 9/11." Basically, the essay used elements of Greek mythology, particularly Homer's Iliad, to satirize the 2004 US presidential election. So, because I was sick of posting videos, I thought I'd re-post the essay here, unedited.

Hi guys. I thought you might find this bit of news interesting, in light of the upcoming presidential elections.

A parchement was recently discovered by Turkish archaeologists which dates back to the 6th century B.C., the time of the legendary war between Greece and Troy. This parchment sheds new light on what was until now thought to be a settled matter of history.

The document, written in Greek, reveals that after the sacking of Troy, Greek warriors did not find Helen, wife of Paris, nor did they find any evidence that she had ever been in Troy. Moreover, it turns out that the Greek diplomats who were charged with searching for Helen did not find any evidence that she was in Troy at all. This means that the whole basis of the Trojan War was a lie!

It gets better. After the war, which raged for ten years and resulted in countless casualties on both the Greek and Trojan sides, a massive quarrel raged between Agamemnon, King of the Greeks, and Achilles, demigod and veteran of the Trojan War. Achilles charged Agamemnon with going to war on false pretenses, and called the Trojan War "The Wrong War, in the Wrong Place, at the Wrong Time." He also pointed out that, contrary to the official reports made by kings Agamemnon and Menelaus, there was no connection between King Priam, leader of the Trojans, and the kidnapping of Helen. Finally, he chargeed Agaemnon with squandering an perfect oppotunity to capture Aeneas, instead letting him flee, further adding that Aeneas could have travelled as far as Rome or Carthage.

Agamemnon contended that the war was in fact justified. While Greek diplomats did not find evidence of Helen's presence, he points out that king Priam did not allow diplomats access to his private palaces. He then stressed that he was guided by a 'higher power', ie Zeus, to fight against the Trojans, and that the Trojan people are better of now that the 'evildoer' Priam has been removed from power. He ends by questioning Achilles' war record: He has won many commendations for injury in the field, but medical records suggest that his only injury was to his heel!

Achilles, not impressed by Agamemnon's arguments, appealed to the Greeks to proclaim him as their new King. He accepted Ulysses, the handsome, well-rounded, down-to-earth country boy from Ithaca, to be his vice-king, despite his inexperience in politics (Menelaus claims that he never met Ulysses until the very debate chronicled here). He claimed to have a plan to get Greece out of Troy, as well as tackle other Greek political issues. He took a liberal stance on same-species marriages.

Agamemnon and Menelaus also appealed to the Greeks. He urged Greece to stay the course in Troy. He also stressed his belief that marriage is strictly defined as being between a Man and a God. (Women weren't considered 'people' back then. They were considered to be WMD's. Hahahahaha...). He accuses Achilles and Ulysses of being flip-floppers (First Achilles is out of the war, then he's in; First Ulysses tries to avoid the draft, then he urges warriors to keep fighting, then he tries to end the war he supposedly supported). Finally, he sicked Nestor, the aged warrior and staunch supporter of Agamemnon, onto Achilles and Ulysses. Nestors claims were quite exaggerated: "Achilles would wait for approval from Gaul before attacking another nation!", "He would make sure that the Greek army was reduced to fighting with spitballs!"

When Achilles questioned his claim, stating that he couldn't possibly believe that Achilles would reduce the Greek army to fighting with spitballs, Nestor reacted harshly: "I wish this was the age when I could challenge a man to a duel!" When Achilles replied that 6th century B.C. was, in fact, such an age, Nestor lost his nerve and struck Achilles in his heel, killing him. Ulysses, enraged, strung his bow amd, with the help of his son Telemachus, slayed Nestor, Agamemnon, Menelaus, and all the suitors of his wife, Penelope (heir to the Ithacan ketchup fortune). Ulysses then proclaimed himself King of the Greeks.

Thus democracy was born in Greece!

Historians are split on whether this document is indeed accurate, with 50% in favour of the authenticity of the document, and 50% claiming it is a hoax.

What do you think? Send in your vote to guy_on_bus@hotmail.com. Yes if it is authentic, no if it is not. Votes must be entered by November 2nd.




Mmmmmm....that's good satire!

Jeremy.

So. . . yay relevance?

The Must See Movie of the Summer!

Movies have not been good to me this summer. The last movie I saw in a theatre was Terminator: Salvation, which I liked but everyone else hated. The last movie I saw before that was Star Trek, which I hated but everyone else loved. So while I've been questioning my own taste in movies, as well as the tastes of those around me, I've been avoiding trips to the cinema. (My thesis also had more than a little to do with that, but that's another story).

I thought I was through with summer movies. . . until I saw the trailer posted below. I knew that there was a movie about to be released by the producers of Independence Day based on the 2012 disater myth, but I had no interest in seeing it, mainly because, well, it's a disaster movie from the producers of Independence Day. But having seen this trailer, I'm now convinced that it may just worth seeing after all. . .



P.S. Seriously, though, I am looking forward to District 9. I just hope they don't fuck up the story and ideas with excessive, pointless action.

Wednesday Wire

The very first scene of the very first episode of The Wire. Because I don't just watch PGSM.

This is the World in Which We Live.

Star Trek -- 95%

Terminator: Salvation -- 34%

My Sunday Morning

After a fairly late night of work, I went to bed. I was hoping to sleep in this Sunday morning, but at about six-thirty in the morning, I felt the slight pangs of a headache. After some brief effort to sleep through it, I eventually decided to get up. By eight o'clock, I was off to town.

I realized that this would be the perfect opportunity for a drive. I've frequently enjoyed travelling the back roads of Prince George. The peace and solitude of the countryside helped me clear my mind. I had already travelled north and east of Prince George far too often, so I decided to venture where I had never gine before-- south, down highway 97 toward Quesnel.

I found myself travelling down Red Rock Road West, some twenty to thirty kilometers south of Prince George. The nieghborhood of Red Rock consisted of a long gravel road, with a few houses and, to my surprise, a closed-down elementary school dotted along its sides. The road promised some intriguing exploration, but unfortunately my journey was to be cut short.

I am one prone to travel down side roads. When I saw a red pick up truck pull out of a junction on my right, I followed my foolish exploratory instincts and turned in. Alas, within fifty meters I saw the sign indicating a dead-end, along with a looped arrow which, to me, indicated a turn-around up ahead. Following the road over a small crest I found not a turn-around but a ranch. Dissapointed, and just a little frustrated, I turned the car around and headed back out, only to find the red pick-up barrelling along toward me. Ah, I thought, the man of the manor! He must have mistaken my simple and admittedly rather childish excursion as a visit of greater portent. A trivial, if embarrassing, misunderstanding.

And yet, a dread fell upon me at the thought this man, who knew of me through only the most awkward of contexts, being forced by his own routine to follow me out of Red Rock and into Prince George. I thus decided to turn to the right and continue further down the road, certain that the man in the red truck would break left toward town.

Yet, he did not turn left, but instead followed me to the right. My hands, in fear, clasped tighter to the wheel, and an anxious warmth flushed upward over my face. I wondered, did he sense in my confused detour not merely purpose, but malice? My thoughts raced, first to denial-- surely, he did not think me some burglar, scoping his house like a common vagrant? Yet even a surplus of experience, forged by the fires of common sense into a veritable blade of inference capable of piercing the heavist curtains of doubt, cannot truly hope to penetrate that mysterious force which shrouds the thoughts of men. And when confronted with such an overwhelming incomprehensible vastness, ones own thoughts, like the shodow's of Plato's Cavern, take on a life all their own. My heart raced as the pick-up followed ever closer, my eyes darting rapidly between the road ahead and the persuer behind. My thoughts, like the snowflakes of a winter's storm which first dart about in the wind before crystallizing into the frigid white terrain, converged into a single idea, a single word: escape.

On my left, as though summoned by my fears, another road appeared. Without hesitation, I bent left. The pick-up followed. There could be no doubt now. He was following me. And yet even as I resigned myself to the terrible reality of this misunderstanding I saw the pick-up dart to the right, toward the Red Rock Volunteer Fire Brigade headquarters. And then, a further relief: the Highway! I turned north onto the highway and accelerated; though relieved at the pick-up's departure, I soon noticed its driver deliberating with a pair of uniformed men, no doubt members of the fire brigade. In more rational times, the scene would have suggested the jovial camaraderie of old friends, perhaps even equals, brothers in that fellowship of volunteer fire brigadiers. Yet my thoughts, still trapped in Hollows of Plato, continued to rage on.

"That's the one!" said, no doubt, the pick up driver. "I have his license plate number! Alert the dispatchers! Rally the cruisers! We must not allow him elusion!"

And at that moment, indeed, in my sights appeared the form of a partol car, its side branded by the words "Red Rock Community Patrol," its sparkling electric lights of crimson and azure luminous even in the brightness of this fateful sabbath morn. I pulled to the side, and yet even as the police officer emerged from his vehicle, eliminating all doubt of his intended target, I was overcome not by fear but relief. I had tired of the chase. Now, at the very least, I was allowed an audience for my account of the preceding events, and with it, the chance for redemption. I rolled down my window.

"Sir, were you aware that this is a construction zone?"

I was not. I had no way of knowing that I'd pulled out of Red Rock into a construction zone. But, nonetheless, I was speeding, and I got a ticket for it. The police officer was pretty decent about my fine. He could have been much crueller than he was.

This was the first time I've ever gotten a speeding ticket. My spotless record, ruined!

By the way, the events described above unfolded in the span of about a minute and a half. Still, this story, in all its purple glory, has to be better than Star Trek.

Katana Found Near Murder Scene in Prince George

I saw an intriguing story on the cover of today's Citizen. Police have discovered a katana (the paper insists on calling it a "samurai sword") in the Hudson's Bay Slough canal near Queensway. The katana had "red discolouration[ie. blood, most likely] on the tip and more splattered down the blade." This fact, as well as the location where it was found, have led police to consider whether it might be related to a murder that occured on Saturday. The victim is rumored to be a gang member, though police will only say at this time that he was "known to us."

I'm waiting to hear if more information is released about the sword, specifically whether it really was used to kill the victim and whether it was an authentic katana or just an imitation. Prudence leads me to believe that it's probably an imitation. If it is authentic, it means that the sword is, to say the least, not cheap.

UPDATE: Or, rather, non-update. Since the story broke on the fourteenth of April, there has not been a follow-up story in the Citizen, though they did run an op-ed on the sixteenth, which can pretty much summed up as "killing people with swords is bad." The Free Press did run a story on the sword, but it doesn't offer anything not already revealed in the Citizen article.

Weren't we all told . .

. . . that the cold war is over? Apparently, it's not quite done yet.

MOSCOW - The Russian space agency has ordered design work to start for a next-generation spaceship capable of flying missions to the moon, setting the ground for a potential new space race with the United States.

The space agency granted the state-controlled RKK Energiya company a US$23 million contract for initial work on a new, reusable craft to replace the 40-year-old Soyuz.

The as-yet-unnamed Russian spaceship could emerge as a potential competitor to NASA's prospective Orion spacecraft.

Design requirements for the Russian craft appear similar to Orion's specification, prompting some experts to nickname it "Orionski."

Orion is scheduled to carrying humans to the International Space Station beginning in 2015, and to the moon by 2020.

Alexei Krasnov, the chief of manned space programs for the Russian space agency, said last week that the prospective Russian spacecraft is set to make its maiden flight before 2020, without elaborating.

James Oberg, an experienced aerospace engineer who worked on NASA's space shuttle program and is now a space consultant, wrote in a commentary that the new Russian space program could help NASA win funds for its plan to return astronauts to the moon.

"This will give NASA a long hoped for boost in Congress by echoing the space race motivations of the 1960s," Oberg said.

Energiya beat the other leading state-controlled spacecraft builder, the Khrunichev company, for the prestigious order. It was announced on a government website.

Energiya has until June 2010 to complete the initial design. The company builds the Soyuz and its unmanned cargo version, named Progress, which are not reusable.

Krasnov said the new spacecraft will be capable of carrying a crew of six and a payload of 500 kilograms to orbit around the Earth. The Soyuz can only carry a crew of three.

Krasnov told reporters last week that the new spaceship should also be capable of delivering a crew of four to lunar orbit.

"We want the new ship to be a step into the future, not just a scaled up version of the Soyuz," he said.

Russia plans to start construction next year of Vostochny, a new space launch facility in the far eastern Amur region near China. The new cosmodrome is expected to host launches of unmanned spacecraft beginning in 2015 and the first manned missions starting in 2018.

Russia currently uses the Soviet-built Baikonur cosmodrome in Kazakhstan for all of its manned space missions and most important commercial launches. Another launch facility in Plesetsk, northern Russia, is mostly used to launch military satellites.

Windfall oil revenues of the past years have allowed the Kremlin to spend more on Russia's space program, which had suffered badly in the post-Soviet economic meltdown. But with Russia facing its worst financial crisis since 1998, observers say the government may find it hard to fund the ambitious new program.

So. . . President Bush, in 2004, decides to take advantage of the popularity surrounding the Spirit and Opportunity missions on Mars to announce his new "vision for space exploration," which involves ditching the space shuttle, completing construction of the International Space Station, and "return[ing] to the moon by 2020, as the launching point for missions beyond." Then, China, ever so eager to prove it's not a dumb kid anymore, announces its own plans for a moon mission, which I wrote about earlier. Now Russia, which had earlier annouced that it had no interest in taking part in the Nasa plan, has now suddenly decided it will build a new spacecraft capable of lunar orbit.

At least Canada's not being dragged into this moronic new space race. . . we're too busy trying to beat the Russians in the moronic new oil race.

My Win-sense is Tingling. . .

Fireman dresses as Spider-Man to rescue boy.



Seriously.

BANGKOK - A Thai firefighter dressed as Spider-Man to rescue an autistic boy who climbed onto a third-floor balcony and dangled his legs over the side because he was nervous on his first day of school.

Firefighter Somchai Yoosabai was called in after the 11-year-old boy's teachers and mother failed to coax him off the ledge on Monday, he said in a telephone interview Wednesday.

"He was nervous about the first day at school, and he was asking for his mother," Somchai said. "He cried and refused to let any of us get close to him."

Overhearing a conversation between the boy's mother and his teachers about his love for comics and superheroes, Somchai rushed back to the fire station to change into a Spider-Man costume before swinging into action.

"I told him Spider-Man is here to save you. No monster will hurt you now," Somchai said. "Then I told him to walk slowly toward me. I was very nervous that he might have slipped if he got too excited and ran."

Somchai, who keeps costume of Spider-Man and a Japanese superhero Ultraman to liven up fire drills at schools, said the teary-eyed boy broke into a smile and started walking into his arms.

Win.

President Obama Announces End Date of Iraqi Military Operations Fail

From msn.ca:

Under the proposed timetable, Aug. 31, 2008, would mark the end of all U.S. war operations in the country, Obama said.

Thank God this long, costly war will finally end six months ago.

UPDATE: The article has been corrected to 2010. Just in time for the ulimpekzorz!!!ONE!1

I'm Starting to Notice a Theme. . .

Two nuclear-powered submarines from Britain and France, both carrying nuclear missiles, collided deep under the Atlantic Ocean earlier this month, authorities are now acknowledging.

It's Like. . . Some Sort of . . . Star War. . .

If you could believe such a absurd thing!

Seriously, though. . . remember when the U.S. and China got into a pissing match over who was better at blowing up their own satellites with missiles? It seems like Russia has gotten into the act as well. Their approach, however, is a bit more direct. . .

From MSNBC:

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - Russian and U.S. experts say the first-ever collision between two satellites has created clouds of debris that could threaten other unmanned spacecraft.

...

The smashup occured over Siberia when a derelict Russian military communications satellite crossed paths with a U.S. Iridium satellite.

The two big communications satellites collided in the first-ever crash of two intact spacecraft in orbit, shooting out a pair of massive debris clouds and posing a slight risk to the international space station.

NASA said it will take weeks to determine the full magnitude of the crash, which occurred nearly 500 miles (800 kilometers) over Siberia on Tuesday.

Americans? Chinese? Pussies. Leave it to the Russians have the sheer frozen balls to destroy a foreign satellite. . . with their own decommissioned satellite!

But those ex-Bolshevist bastards aren't content with taking out just one satellite:

Other Russian and U.S. officials warn that satellites in nearby orbits could be damaged.

...

The U.S. Strategic Command's Space Surveillance Network detected the two debris clouds created by Tuesday's collision. Julie Ziegenhorn, a spokeswoman for the Strategic Command, told msnbc.com that the collision left behind an estimated 600 pieces of debris, but she emphasized that the Pentagon's orbital watchdog had to do "still more characterization" of the collision's potential effect.

NASA's [Mark] Matney said the count would likely be in the thousands if pieces of debris down to the scale of microns — about the size of a grain of sand — are included.

...

Nicholas Johnson, an orbital debris expert at the Houston space center, said the risk of damage from Tuesday’s collision is [relatively high] for the Hubble Space Telescope and Earth-observing satellites, which are in higher orbit [than the International Space Station] and nearer the debris field.

The satellite-- the victim satellite-- was owned by telecommunications company Iridium Holdings LLC. According to the article, one of the company's biggest clients is the US Department of Defence.

Coincidence? What do you mean yes? Are you blind? As we speak, the Russians are already planning to allow satellites they decommissioned during the Cold War to follow their original orbits and eventually collide with satellites launched years later that they could never have anticipated! It's all part of the Soviet grand plan launched years ago: to destory the enemies the Soviet Union my means of the remnant's of the Soviet Union's own downfall! And to think, you people are still fooled by that little puppet show in Berlin.

Or. . . maybe Iridium just fucked up. Though the article never specifies whether he's talking about this particular collision or any collision of satellites, Mark Matney was quoted as saying “We knew this was going to happen eventually.”

UPDATE: Cool video. It freezes up for the first second or so, but if you click a couple of seconds ahead, it works fine.

Lab

I'm in my Phys 111 lab. It's 7:50 pm and I'm not leaving until around 9:30. It's hard going. I mangled my introduction to the lab because I was tired and didn't prepare and basically just didn't give a shit. As a result, I think a couple of students laughed at me, and frankly, I can't blame them. On top of that, I'm also marking labs for Christine, the senior lab instructor. She's telling me that I have to "get mean," which means, in part, that I'll have to be even more vigilant in identifying mistakes than I already am, which means even more work. Either that, or I'll just have to take off more points for the same mistakes, which is easier, but not neccessarily fair to the students.

Labs. My "fuck that guy" of the evening.

(This does not bode well for me if I'm selected by JET to teach English in Japan. Come to think of it, that would have been an interesting blog topic. Way better than bitching about the shitty commercials done by my make-believe Japanese girlfriend.)

Seven Days. . .

Okay, it's really only six days until the federal election, but I came up with the title on Monday, and you gotta admit that an allusion to The Ring is gonna be a helluva lot catchier than Six Days. . .

Six days. How the hell did that happen?! I knew that there was an election going on, but. . . damn! I've been so focused on University and the American election (I was also recently rear-ended, but that's a whole other story I'd rather not get into) that I haven't had time to really consider who I will vote for.

I won't vote Conservative. I know that much. There are many reasons for this, including this one. Stephen Harper, before becoming PM, did everything he could to come across as a far-right loon-- it's only after he got elected that remodeled his image into that of a mere centrist douchebag. I worry about what he would do if he ever got a majority government. . .

But that said. . . in his latest campaign ads-- and I am truly sorry to say this, Naomi-- Stephen Harper looks surprisingly, frighteningly similar to Josh. It makes me almost able to tolerate that insipid "Stephen Harper Loves His Kids so Vote Conservative!" nonsense.

I most likely won't vote Liberal. Frankly, the only reason I would is if there was a good chance that the Liberal candidate would beat the Conservative one-- and this being Prince George, I think you know how likely it is for that little scenario to unfold.

I won't vote Bloc-- no Bloc candidate.

I'd consider voting for the Marxist-Leninist party just to make a statement! Problem is, I don't know what that statement would be.

So, in the end, I'm torn between the NDP and the Greens. The NDP have been making a lot of headway in the polls recently. There's a chance -- and, mind you, I base this on absolutely nothing other than a vague trend-- that they could beat out the Liberals to form an official opposition. Plus, my (metaphorical, I'm not British) Old Labour blood obliges me to vote for the leftist party.

On the other hand. . . all I've really heard and seen from the NDP ad's, website, and even platform are soundbites ("Man, fuck dem Eastside Boardroom table motherfuckas! I'm all about da Westside kitchen tables up in dis bitch! Ya feel me?") along with a few vague, nice-sounding ideas(Increased support for pedestrian and bicycle paths "as part of [the NDP's] commitment to sustainable transport"-- I'm not joking). To be fair, I haven't checked out the other party platforms and websites, but my feeling is that they won't be much better.

Adding to that is the fact that, well, Jack Layton seems to be a bit of a douche. I'm basing that solely on the fact that he, along with Stephane Dion, has been judged by the public to have come off a bit dickish during the English language debate (I say "appears" because I didn't watch the debate. . . Yes, I'm a terrible citizen, but I'm getting to that). Indeed, the two party leaders who came off looking the best, according to people who I have mostly never met, are Stephen Harper and Green Party leader Elizabeth May, which leads me to the other end of my conundrum. . .

The Greens. The environmentalist party. From what I've heard, they're left-leaning on social issues and environment, but right-leaning on the economy. Considering that the economic meltdown in the U.S. appears, by all accounts, to have occurred as a result of Republican emphasis on deregulation, the latter may well be a liability. On the other hand, as mentioned earlier, their leader comes off as intelligent, knowledgeable, and reasonable-- from what I hear.

That, and they support a carbon tax, while the NDP support a cap and trade system. You see, carbon tax is good, and cap and trade is bad. . . from what I hear. . . somehow.

Sigh.

If you've made it this far, you've probably come to the conclusion that I really am an ignorant slut. You may have even decided that it would probably just be a better idea for this jackass (me) not to vote in the first place.

That, you see, was be design.

If you've been clicking on the links, you've probably visited my sister's blog, wherein she expresses her anger at those who choose not to vote for reason of every party sucking. Or, as she said herself:

I'm sitting on the CFUR couch listening to some guy rant about how he's exercising his democratic right by not voting. He claims hating every party as his excuse. . . . Enough people are stupid enough to either a) vote FOR [Harper] or b) NOT vote at all? No wonder North American politics are such a joke.

I know that Naomi isn't talking about this issue specifically, but her blog entry seems to suggest that compulsive voting might be the answer to some of our democratic woes.

I've always taken issue with the idea of compulsive voting. First, I do believe that if you have the right to vote, you have the right not to vote. While I do not agree with said CFUR guy's assessment of the political landscape, I could envision a circumstance wherein all the parties would screw the public with equal intensity. In that case, what good does it do to vote? "Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos?"

Secondly, as this blog post has demonstrated, I really have no fucking clue as to who I should vote for. Really, I'm just stringing together a few random facts (Polls! Arts Funding! Kyoto!) along with a few gut level associations (Harper = Bush = BAD! NDP = Left = GOOD!) to form the basis of what is really an incredibly significant civic duty. I mean, really, would you want someone like me choose who your political leader should be? If I were this ignorant about anything else. . . well, I am a physics lab instructor, but that's not the point!

The point is, I'm somebody who actually gives half a shit about politics, or at least that's what I thought. Just imagine someone who really couldn't give a damn one way or the other being forced by law (or social pressure) to participate in the voting process. They don't care one way or the other, so they may as well vote for the guy who looks like Naomi's cute boyfriend.

Next Week?

Hi A.J.

I'm going to be pretty busy next week-- I have to attend a committee meeting and give my final presentation for my Octave course. But Friday night or Saturday should be good.

Would it be cool if Naomi came as well?


Oh. . . and for you other people reading this (and A.J. as well):

YOR!

(It's over twenty minutes long, but its worth it!)

Star Wars. . . Nothing but Star Wars . . . Give me Those Star Wars. . . Don't let them E-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-end!*

I'm in my mom's office, pissing away reading break and waiting for word on our cat Cedric, who's undergoing balldectomy getting neutered at I speak. To pass the time (which I could've been spending doing marking. . . or something-- anything-- out in the open air) I thought I'd write about the lastest bit of space news I've come across.

Sometime last night, while the rest of the western hemisphere stood in the freezing air waiting for a lunar eclipse, the US Navy shot down one of its own country's spy satellites. The satellite was in a decaying orbit, and some believed that it might be able to partially survive re-entry and crash somewhere on Earth--more specifically, somewhere on Earth that's Russia, China, North Korea, or Iran. There's also speculation that the spy satellite contains large amounts of unconsumed hydrazine rocket fuel, which might pose an environmental hazard (indeed, the fact that the fuel was unconsumed, and hence unable to laung the satellite to higher orbit and greater velocity, might explain why it is falling in the first place).

Naturally, the United States government is keeping mum about this whole affair. After all, government and military secrets are at stake, and besides, the whole thing is so embarrasing that. . . oh look, the Department of Defence posted a video of the Navy blowing up the satellite:



Apparently, the cloud of gas that appears after the explosion was indeed unburned hydrazine, according to a spectral analysis.

Now, I can understand the DOD posting the video in order to quell the public's worries of, how shall I put it, a KILLER FUCKING SATELLITE:



But, being the paranoid sort that I am, I couldn't help but wonder if there was something else going on here. Then I remembered that China, just one month ago, also blew up a satellite with a ground-based missile:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- China last week successfully used a missile to destroy an orbiting satellite, U.S. government officials told CNN on Thursday, in a test that could undermine relations with the West and pose a threat to satellites important to the U.S. military.

According to a spokesman for the National Security Council, the ground-based, medium-range ballistic missile knocked an old Chinese weather satellite from its orbit about 537 miles above Earth. The missile carried a "kill vehicle" and destroyed the satellite by ramming it.

The test took place on January 11. (There was a link to a video here, but I cut it out. You can find it at the main site.)

Aviation Week and Space Technology first reported the test: "Details emerging from space sources indicate that the Chinese Feng Yun 1C (FY-1C) polar orbit weather satellite launched in 1999 was attacked by an asat (anti-satellite) system launched from or near the Xichang Space Center."

A U.S. official, who would not agree to be identified, said the event was the first successful test of the missile after three failures.

The official said that U.S. "space tracking sensors" confirmed that the satellite is no longer in orbit and that the collision produced "hundreds of pieces of debris," that also are being tracked.

So. . . is all of this just an outer space pissing contest between China and the United States? Are we about to enter a new Cold War in Earth orbit? The U.S. has issued diplomatic protests, and President Bush has been waving that little of sabre of his over issues of American outer space policy for some time now:

The United States logged a formal diplomatic protest.

"We are aware of it and we are concerned, and we made it known," White House spokesman Tony Snow said.

Several U.S. allies, including Canada and Australia, have also registered protests, and the Japanese government said it was worrisome.

"Naturally, we are concerned about it from the viewpoint of security as well as peaceful use of space," said Yashuhisa Shiozaki, chief cabinet secretary. He said Japan has asked the Chinese government for an explanation.

Britain has complained about lack of consultation before the test and potential damage from the debris it left behind, The Associated Press reported.

The United States has been able to bring down satellites with missiles since the mid-1980s, according to a history of ASAT programs posted on the Union of Concerned Scientists Web site. In its own test, the U.S. military knocked a satellite out of orbit in 1985.

Under a space policy authorized by President Bush in August, the United States asserts a right to "freedom of action in space" and says it will "deter others from either impeding those rights or developing capabilities intended to do so."

The policy includes the right to "deny, if necessary, adversaries the use of space capabilities hostile to U.S. national interests."

Low Earth-orbit satellites have become indispensable for U.S. military communications, GPS navigation for smart bombs and troops, and for real-time surveillance. The Chinese test highlights the satellites' vulnerability.

"If we, for instance, got into a conflict over Taiwan, one of the first things they'd probably do would be to shoot down all of our lower Earth-orbit spy satellites, putting out our eyes," said John Pike of globalsecurity.org, a Web site that compiles information on worldwide security issues.

"The thing that is surprising and disturbing is that [the Chinese] have chosen this moment to demonstrate a military capability that can only be aimed at the United States," he said.

Again, maybe I'm being paranoid, but isn't it also strange that just a month later, the U.S. destroys one of it's own satellites, for all the world to see?

But Anyway. . . as long as you're here, read My Story II and give me some input, dammit! I plan to do this for money and acclaim and girls one day!

Links:

Bad Astronomy Blog Article

BBC Online Article on Spy Satellite

CNN Online Article on Chinese Missile Launch


*The title is based on Bill Murray's "Star Wars Song" from the early years of Saturday Night Live. I couldn't find the original clip, but I did find this video by DickSharpe80 which has the song on it.